Salt Shakers’ outrage metre explodes over Labor backbencher’s sexy novel
November 13, 2008 – 7:05 pm
The Twelfth Fish by Graham Perrett
Here’s a ripper: Moral guardian group and soldiers in the battle against filth, Salt Shakers, are going bonkers over a new book from Labor backbencher Graham Perrett. Why? Salt Shakers believe leaders of the nation should not be encouraging reading that contains ‘extremely graphic’ and ‘sexual’ material.
Thankfully no one else agrees (okay, there’s probably a few otherwise I wouldn’t need to write this blog).
Lindsay Tanner has read The Twelfth Fish and thinks some of the expressions that have been made about the book are entirely exaggerated.
“If you look around at a few books here and there, you’ll find equivalent sex scenes.”
He described Salt Shakers as one of those “rather obscure and extreme groups” that sometimes get into public debate.“I suspect my mum would be a little bit worried about some of the content of the book, but it’s an adult novel.”
It had been a long time since books with sex scenes were banned in Australia, Mr Tanner said.
Calling Salt Shakers an obscure and extreme group is putting it nicely.
You’re probably wondering what’s so naughty about this book by now so here’s some extracts thanks to The Daily Telegrah (who of which has two warnings about the possibly offensive content you’re about to read, as if one was not enough).
“Was there any alternative when a deliciously warm hand was masturbating me while another hand cupped my balls and kisses were orbiting my groin in ever-diminishing circles.
“My heart, my universe, my soul, my everything was in Cylla’s (fellow teacher at his school) mouth and nothing else mattered.
“I started to worry about Cylla’s jaw muscles cramping … orgasm threw my sense of perspective.” (pg 155)
Another oral passage:
“She pressed on, supportive and relentless, sliding down beneath the blankets, kissing and licking and positioning herself firmly beneath my knees and methodically commencing fellatio.” (pg 167)
“The din from the party mocked me as Karen (his girlfriend) attacked my surly worm with gusto. It was as if she was professionally slighted.” (pg 168).
The Daily Telegraph also complemented their exercise in makeshift journalism with this fine image:
The graphic used alongside the News.com.au/Daily Telegraph article 'MP author's vulgar book earns parliamentary praise'
Obviously the graphic designer from Today Tonight got a new job.
And just for a quick reminder of how messed up Salt Shakers are — remember that channel 9 series The Block where four couples renovated some houses? Salt Shakers didn’t like the fact one couple was homosexual:
The Block, a ‘reality’ program on Channel 9, is a renovation ‘challenge’ in a block of Bondi flats has four ‘couples’ competing to renovate a flat. Three couples are heterosexual (only two are married) the other ‘couple’ are two homosexual men who openly exhibit their ‘sexuality’. They also threaten to renovate in their underwear!
This program is on Channel 9 at 6.30pm on SUNDAY evenings – yes, that’s right, just when our children are watching! Please contact Channel 9 – This is TV social engineering GONE MAD and it is BAD NEWS for our nation if this becomes an accepted norm for Sunday night TV!
It will set a precedent if YOU don’t air YOUR concern…
Comical.
15 Responses to “Salt Shakers’ outrage metre explodes over Labor backbencher’s sexy novel”
I don’t remember the last time I saw anything so silly as the “Member for PORN” image. It’s the sort of thing Andrew Landeryou might put on his smear blog, not something to expect from something that has an actual editor. Are we to understand the paper condemns the book and thinks it should be banned?
By Colin on Nov 14, 2008
I would never have known about this if it hadn’t been for the internets, in which evil lurks like Putin on the Alaskan border, ready to pop up his evil head at any time given half the chance.
I shall write to Senator Conroy asking him to:
(1) Think of the children
(2) Ban these dreadful internets
(3) Ban the Daily Telegraph
(4) Ban the Labor Backbench.
That should solve the problem for now.
The world is going to hell in a handbasket. Thank heavens our Government cares.
I shall also ask Conroy what a ‘surly worm’ means? I asked all the kids around here but they just laughed.
By Mr Anticon on Nov 14, 2008
Good but not far enough. Let’s ban sex altogether!
Clearly no one enjoys it. The Daily Telegraph is
clear in its horror at sexuality even being mentioned.
That’s why they are responsible and keep the sex ads at
the back of the paper.
Let’s just concentrate on producing for our masters, not talking out of turn, consuming, and doing EXACTLY what certain politicians like Mr Fielding tell us.
By Confused on Nov 14, 2008
Mr Anticon: How the fork out of touch with the world are you? The internet is OURS, not yours. YOU have NO right to decide what I view online. BTW: I agree 100% re Dogly Traumagraph. Right-wing scandal-sheet. We scabbed on the bastards in the 70′s & I personally would do it again.
By Max Tivey on Nov 14, 2008
BTW: Putin is OK, it’s Medvedev we need to keep an eye on.
By Max Tivey on Nov 14, 2008
Max: Mr Anticon is (I hope) using sarcasm to make a point. Check out his website. Lets save our anger for the real enemies.
It is good sarcasm though, the best sarcasm is almost indistinguishable from the real thing.
I’ve added “surly worm” to my list of euphemisms (3000 and counting).
By Stevian on Nov 14, 2008
“I don’t remember the last time I saw anything so silly as the “Member for PORN” image. It’s the sort of thing Andrew Landeryou might put on his smear blog, not something to expect from something that has an actual editor.”
Daily Telegraph editor quits
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/14/2419639.htm
Is there a connection?
By Stevian on Nov 14, 2008
“not something to expect from something that has an actual editor”
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/11/14/2419639.htm
Is there any connection?
By Stevian on Nov 14, 2008
Graham Perrett’s Vulgar Book
Today I wrote to Graham Perrett
A sleazy man who rhythms with ‘ferret’
I told him “We don’t need no porn!”
And heaped on him my utmost scorn
The Tele warns us off this book
(And helps us all to take a look)
And so it was I saw some words
A million times more rude than ‘turds’
His graphic tales of modern congress
Are grounds for hanging, yet I digress
Such filthy text – it makes me squirm
And what on earth’s a ‘surly worm’?
I note he writes of m_____bation
Of groins and loins and much gyration
He tells rude tales of s_x and gays
All bad for us in many ways
Say, should an adult buy his book
Well then a naughty mite might look
Upon those pages, rude and lewd…
Immediately their lives are screwed!
So let’s make sure we never let
A moment pass when we forget
The fearsome dangers to our youth
If Members’ novels are uncouth
Why, they should write of decent fish
That swim around or grace our dish!
I warn all anglers – shun THIS tome
And never leave it in your home!
________________
POST SCRIPT also at http://gobwash.com/poems/adults/gordon_perrett.html
By Gobwash on Nov 14, 2008
Surely what Salt Shakers has is an outrage meter.
Funny Colin should mention Andrew Landeryou, because I had exactly the same thought when I saw that DT graphic. Difference being that I do actually like Landeryou – he at least is being funny on purpose.
By Peter Pedant on Nov 14, 2008
While I’m at it, the Daily Telegraph complemented, not complimented, “their exercise in makeshift journalism with this fine image”.
By Peter Pedant on Nov 14, 2008
Listen to (or download – mp3 format ) a podcast with the author Graham Perrett from…
http://www.abc.net.au/rn/bookshow/stories/2008/2390356.htm
well worth listing to (about 18 minutes)
(during this podcast the author reads excerpts from the book…)
“The ALP’s Graham Perrett represents the federal seat of Moreton in Queensland and was elected to parliament in November last year. Now Graham is also a published novelist. His first book, The Twelfth Fish, is about a school teacher who is posted to the small town of Lawson in outback Queensland.”
Publications
Title: TheTwelfth Fish
Author: Graham Perrett
Publisher: Vulgar Press
ISBN 9780 9775 0476 3
Presenter
Peter Mares
Radio National often provides links to external websites to complement program information. While producers have taken care with all selections, we can neither endorse nor take final responsibility for the content of those sites.
Review Vulgar Press at
http://www.vulgar.com.au/
Established in 1999, Vulgar Press is dedicated to the publication of working-class and other radical forms of writing. We publish novels, non-fiction, history and poetry and are not limited by genre.
See the vulgar books link for information on our list.
We are publishing a good proportion of books for the secondary school/teen market and we have begun a series of radical histories, starting with Radical Melbourne and moving around the capital cities of Australia in coming years. We recently published Radical Brisbane and Radical Melbourne 2: The Enemy Within. Radical Sydney is set for publication in early 2009.
Our latest publication is Graham Perrett’s novel, The Twelfth Fish.
——————-
By Bob Bain on Nov 15, 2008
I think I’ll ask Conroy to block that Saltshakers website. I find it’s content offensive.
By Dan on Nov 18, 2008
Actually I think Saltshakers have got a point. I don’t expect such trash from my members of parliament.
By Steve on Dec 5, 2009