The Twelfth Fish by Graham Perrett

The Twelfth Fish by Graham Perrett

Here’s a ripper: Moral guardian group and soldiers in the battle against filth, Salt Shakers, are going bonkers over a new book from Labor backbencher Graham Perrett. Why? Salt Shakers believe leaders of the nation should not be encouraging reading that contains ‘extremely graphic’ and ‘sexual’ material.

Thankfully no one else agrees (okay, there’s probably a few otherwise I wouldn’t need to write this blog).

Lindsay Tanner has read The Twelfth Fish and thinks some of the expressions that have been made about the book are entirely exaggerated.

Tanner told The Australian:

“If you look around at a few books here and there, you’ll find equivalent sex scenes.”
He described Salt Shakers as one of those “rather obscure and extreme groups” that sometimes get into public debate.

“I suspect my mum would be a little bit worried about some of the content of the book, but it’s an adult novel.”

It had been a long time since books with sex scenes were banned in Australia, Mr Tanner said.

Calling Salt Shakers an obscure and extreme group is putting it nicely.

You’re probably wondering what’s so naughty about this book by now so here’s some extracts thanks to The Daily Telegrah (who of which has two warnings about the possibly offensive content you’re about to read, as if one was not enough).

“Was there any alternative when a deliciously warm hand was masturbating me while another hand cupped my balls and kisses were orbiting my groin in ever-diminishing circles.

“My heart, my universe, my soul, my everything was in Cylla’s (fellow teacher at his school) mouth and nothing else mattered.

“I started to worry about Cylla’s jaw muscles cramping … orgasm threw my sense of perspective.” (pg 155)

Another oral passage:

“She pressed on, supportive and relentless, sliding down beneath the blankets, kissing and licking and positioning herself firmly beneath my knees and methodically commencing fellatio.” (pg 167)

“The din from the party mocked me as Karen (his girlfriend) attacked my surly worm with gusto. It was as if she was professionally slighted.” (pg 168).

The Daily Telegraph also complemented their exercise in makeshift journalism with this fine image:

The graphic used alongside the Telegraph article 'MP author's vulgar book earns parliamentary praise'

The graphic used alongside the Telegraph article 'MP author's vulgar book earns parliamentary praise'

Obviously the graphic designer from Today Tonight got a new job.

And just for a quick reminder of how messed up Salt Shakers are — remember that channel 9 series The Block where four couples renovated some houses? Salt Shakers didn’t like the fact one couple was homosexual:

The Block, a ‘reality’ program on Channel 9, is a renovation ‘challenge’ in a block of Bondi flats has four ‘couples’ competing to renovate a flat. Three couples are heterosexual (only two are married) the other ‘couple’ are two homosexual men who openly exhibit their ‘sexuality’. They also threaten to renovate in their underwear!

This program is on Channel 9 at 6.30pm on SUNDAY evenings – yes, that’s right, just when our children are watching! Please contact Channel 9 – This is TV social engineering GONE MAD and it is BAD NEWS for our nation if this becomes an accepted norm for Sunday night TV!

It will set a precedent if YOU don’t air YOUR concern…